Anti-Valentine's Day Eats

We believe that love is about way more than daintily nibbling on tiny, overpriced portions in an attempt to impress a date. We want your date to see the real you, the one that can eat two burgers and a brownie for afters, and thinks nothing of a bit of pasta sauce on the chin. So we’ve compiled a list of the best messy eats in the Market for you and your lucky, lucky other half. Also useful if you’ve got a dodgy Tinder match you want to put off.

Hot Mess — Burger and Beyond

It’s mighty, it’s meaty and it’s definitely a two-hander. With single or double burger options as well as Pepper Jack cheese, jalapenos and chipotle mayo, perhaps it will add the spice that you’re lacking. If you didn’t already, you’ll definitely look like a hot mess by the time you’ve finished eating.

Super Mario Mac ‘n’ Cheese — The Mac Factory

Okay, so you could probably eat this one relatively daintily, but the Super Mario and Mambo Italiano versions both come smothered in garlic, so we still we can’t imagine you’ll be puckering up anytime soon.

Fried Chicken — Only Jerkin’

Love is blind right? Blind enough to ignore your dearly beloved (or frankly, anyone in your personal space) chewing their way through load of fried chicken? Maybe not. We’re willing to give it a go however for a mouthful of Mother Clucker’s chicken. Cluck love, chicken’s better.

Hot Dogs — Oh My Dog!

There’s no getting around it. Whatever puns we try and use, they’ll never be as funny as the pure suggestiveness of gobbling up a hot dog. And gobble them up you will because these gourmet dogs are street food but not as you know it. Heritage breed frankfurters, brioche buns and homemade sauces make for the perfect meaty mouthfuls. Just get the giggles out the way before you start eating — at least it’s an ice breaker, right?